Don’t Touch That Dial

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June 13th, 2012

It’s a sad state of affairs when a fine, upstanding citizen like myself becomes known, more and more, for potty humor. I don’t know whether it’s appropriate or not to call my work “scatological humor” and I don’t feel like looking it up either. I’m pooped. Ugh, sorry.

I tried explaining to the brilliant Meg Cramer at Michigan Radio that until now, my biggest accomplishment as a man of letters was the story I wrote about my dog passing waste in the backyard. (If you clicked on that link, you’re part of the problem.)

We had just recorded a delightful five-minute piece about, ahem, urine and I was attempting to tell her that my writing abilities really do extend beyond bodily functions. She smiled and edged almost imperceptibly toward the door., she knew what she was getting herself into. To wrap up Michigan Radio’s Cancer In The Environment series, she wanted to look at the ways some people cope with their illnesses. Humor was my coping mechanism and in my defense, she was the one who chose the urine story, saying something like it would make her year to get a “golden shower” joke on the radio.

It seems this needs a quick disclaimer like they do on Car Talk: “Even though Diane Rehm will hang her head in shame if she hears my essay, this is Public Radio.”

The segment will air sometime in July and, believe me, I will send out every type of notification imaginable before it runs. I’ll even use Twitter, which I don’t always fully understand. But the latest follower of my tweets will already know about it. She made my voice sound like honey lavender on a warm scone, which is great unless you have a gluten allergy. Here’s what she unbelievably tweeted moments ago: “Just spent 30 hilarious minutes in the @MichiganRadio studio with @rcurtis #ILoveRadio”

I Love Radio too, Meg. Thank you so much for letting me “go public” with my story.

(Okay, I couldn’t stand it. Looking up “scatological,”
I find it’s only in reference to doodoo. Oh crap.)

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