December, 2013 Archives

Wrapping Rodney

December 8th, 2013

We now offer free gift wrapping, just in time for the holidays.

If you’re like me, you love frozen coffees, Seth Rogen’s voice and bargains on the internet. Well kids, Black Friday became Small Business Saturday then morphed into Cyber Monday ALL AT ONCE. Because here, on the Spiritual Wanderer page, we’re offering up free wrapping paper!

What?! No way!

Oh, there’s a way alright. And unlike all the other egocentric writers out there, we’re taking things a step further. Not only are we referring to ourselves in the third person, but with this exclusive deal you can download Rodney Wrap. Click on the blue link below the picture and the paper will show up in a separate window. Then either click the print icon in that window or just hit the print key on your computer. A full 8.5 X 11 sheet of high quality, top of the line wrapping paper will spit out of your printer (if you haven’t loaded your printer with high quality, top of the line paper to begin with, that’s not our problem).

Then get to wrapping. Two sheets of this revolutionary product will cover one, two or all three of Rodney’s best smelling books. Isn’t it time you joined the rest of the country and enjoyed something of which one Amazon reviewer said, “Reading his stories make me laugh as well as cry …”

We can’t believe Rodney’s mother figured out how to write stuff on Amazon!

Before or after printing out this fabulous paper, click on any of those book links up top to order your own official copies. You too can laugh in the face of fear, just like Rodney. And hey — if you’d rather — all three books are available in eVersion for your iPad, Kindle, Nook, phone or practically anything else.

Click here to download your exclusive – not found in stores – Rodney wrapping paper.

 

Piles of People

December 1st, 2013

The sounds of silence

The house has grown quieter throughout the day. A Sunday night after the holiday hears no more loud simultaneous conversations in bedrooms, kitchens, living rooms — all of which happen, inexplicably, on floors. My daughter’s friends seem to find our floors more appealing, more to their liking than our soft, comfy furniture.

One daughter is back at school, many states away. Next fall, the other will follow her sister West, just not as far. A loud, roaring quiet echoes through the emptying nest. One bedroom is now closed, vents shut, conserving the household heat. Soon we’ll have, what, three guest rooms. Come visit us; bring your friends, plenty of floor space.

Our dogs sense the silence and sporadically bark at December phantoms. There’s nothing out there, boys, Grinches and ghosts don’t show up till the 24th.

I’m reminded by a comforting wife that Christmastime will bring her parents, other relatives, our daughter back from the western prairie and until then we still get at least one lovely teen, her boyfriend and their entourage. And thinking about it reminds me that I’ve actually bought chestnuts to roast over an open Kenmore.

For now I’ll do my best not to act like the bears (grizzly, not Chicago) and hibernate.