Friendship: Looking for friends at birthday parties?

This week, columnist Terry Gallagher is writing the OurValues series …

A WOMAN I KNOW—urban dweller with an influential and very interesting job, mother of two beautiful kids—reports having the same problems making friends that everyone else does.

“Life in my late-30s: Cruising a 3-year-old’s birthday party for smart, funny moms,” she recently posted on Facebook. “Why does trying to make new friends at this stage of life feel so much like dating, with all the insecurities that come with that dreaded ritual?”

She’s looking for “smart, funny moms” because she’s one herself.

Her friends who commented on the post reported many of the same feelings, one even describing “the heartbreak when a mom friend moves.”

Parents know this very well, that we really need to connect with other folks in the same boat, who have kids into the same activities so you can share the car pool, but also someone you can talk with about your own lives. Every now and then even parents need to have a conversation with another adult.

But this is also true for those who don’t have children, the need to refresh the speed dialer with numbers for folks who will give you the kind of slack you expect from a friend.

So how does that happen?

What tips do you have for making friends these days?

Is it harder to find a new friend today than it once was?

Please, leave a Comment below.

Originally published at, an experiment in civil dialogue about American values.

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