Why I #epicfail at Twitter

There are two basic types of successful “Tweeps”.

1) #livetoserve. These are the people who troll all the resources you don’t even know existed and post live links to useful information that you would have otherwise spent your life without. Right now my very favorite #livetoserve guys are @MikeMullen and @TonyEldrige. Mike consistently puts up random fascinating stuff and has already contributed ideas to my current and future fiction books. Tony is a touchstone of author marketing. Reading his blog or a blog he links to has never been a waste of time.

2) #ADDunleashed. @KarinaCooper and @JamieTheVWM are goddesses of this Twitter genre (are there Twitter genres? Well, there are now.) Their twitter feeds records the minutia of their lives in hysterical detail, every one eliciting a laugh, a snort, an eye roll. And somehow they are finding time to write whole books, publish them, and do extensive marketing on what has been released already.

*sigh* To be so focused…

And then there is 3) #epicfail. Unlike Facebook where I post with alarming regularity, I am a Twitter ghost. I think the character count throws me off. It’s horrifically difficult for me to pare a thought down to 140 characters. I probably need the practice. So I haunt the Twitter feed, clicking through to fantastic articles and posts I would never have found on my own and laugh out loud at the events others post from their lives

Exhibit A: Why I #epicfail at Twitter

I aspire to such service and amusement, but life keeps getting in the way. It is the dead of summer and I am home with two boys under the age of 9 (read, in need of near constant supervision). Just about the time I come up with some fantastic, pithy and succinct jewel of a tweet, someone runs out the back door naked and screaming like an ape on fire. The smart-phone gets dropped onto the counter where it immediately seeks shelter under a weeks worth of the flotsam and jetsam. And I spend the next hour muting the boy-volume, reinforcing the need for clothing in the subdivision and desperately trying to recapture that long-lost train of thought.

Mother-hood and ADD are a cataclysmic combination.

But my hope is this, school, including all-day kindergarten, begins in just over a month. Then, watch out Twitter-verse, I’m coming to take over!

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