On Mother’s Day: Make time for Mom to make time

Heather Jose photo.

Heather Jose

On Mother’s Day, we like to turn Mom into Queen for a Day. We buy flowers, go to church, cook dinner and generally spoil Mom for one day. That is wonderful.

However, I have a different gift idea for Mother’s Day this year. It doesn’t cost any money, but I believe it could be considered invaluable to the Mom who receives it.

This year, what about giving Mom the gift of caring for herself?

Stay with me here … I regularly work with women who have cancer and, as a general rule, Moms are especially prone to neglecting themselves. Women feel guilty if they take time for themselves. This refusal to care for oneself can be elevated to the level of martyrdom—as if there is a prize for the greatest self sacrifice.

Tea CupWhile most Moms would never allow their children out the door in the morning without breakfast, many Moms don’t think twice about skipping breakfast—or other meals. Does that sound like a busy Mom or Grandma you know?

You can help change this pattern, this year for Mother’s Day. While many Moms won’t take time for themselves—they’re likely to do it if their family makes the time.

You know what what your Mom might like:

  • A regular meal “out” with family
  • A weekly time to work in the yard together
  • Assurance that she can make it to her church or club or community group—or even her hairdresser
  • An evening of playing cards
  • Simply a time to share tea or coffee and talk in an unhurried way
  • Maybe none of these; perhaps something else

This year on Mother’s Day, tell Mom that you care about her and that you would like her to spend some of her time in the next year doing things that would help her feel good. Tell her you want her to do this—and tell her you’ll help ensure this happens.

What I have come to know over the years is this: Taking time to care for myself makes me a better caregiver. It also helps to ensure that I will be able to care for years to come.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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