Ends And Odds
Friday, August 13, 2010 at 3:31PM One of the mind excursions I used back when I didn’t have a handle on leukemia was to think about the long-term future. I’d fantasize about anything I could velcro my soul to. That way, if I cemented a future far enough ahead, I was sure to move toward it as opposed to slipping into the muck of the moment or worse, watching CNN and worrying about the larger things I couldn’t control on top of the other smaller things that I couldn’t even contain.
Here was my favorite future flight of fantasy: I’m rolling in the grass next to our home with one of my daughter’s kids. We laugh, get dirty then flip onto our backs and look up at the clouds.
Pointing up at a thick, robust cumulus I ask, “do you know what that cloud’s called?”
Without missing a second, my grandchild, (son or daughter), answers, “Marvin.”
We laugh like hyenas then notice my wife over bending over in the tall grass, pulling out weeds and we instantly become lions stalking our prey. As we move closer to the lone animal, separated from her herd I realize that absolutely no good will come from the scenario but I’m powerless to stop the slaughter.
Attitude’s everything: Every single doctor, nurse, clinician and dietician I run into tells me a positive mental attitude is the number one key to beating disease. I’m glad to hear that but I also know cancer has become so much less of a death sentence these days than it was even ten years ago. I can’t tell you the number of people that have said, “Oh my sister, or wife, or husband or sous chef had cancer and are completely cured, living exciting lives.”
Here are a few more funky odds and ends, previously un-reported on this blog.
The most outrageous mistake I made with my jumbled up chemo-brain: I was telling my cousin and niece and sister-in-law about the bone marrow donor questions we had and as I was walking in the lovely park — the evening I heard about remission — I informed them, “Yes, we’re looking for a perfect boner donor.”
The most competitive I’ve ever felt while going through a medical procedure: When I was in the Muskegon hospital and the funny Dr. Mallon was prodding my veins with a plastic line to destroy the blood clot in the Operating Room he asked if I knew any jokes. My mind went to the un-published portion of this blog and dug up some of my bluer material and laid one on him. He countered with something just as risque, (two nurses were snickering in the room by the way). I hit him with another, he retaliated. By the time we got up to about five or six jokes each I was feeling the effects of the anesthesia and had to back out gracefully, (okay, he totally won).
Reader Comments (8)
I hereby raise my white flag in any ensuing battle of blue humor. I am quite certain your arsenal pales mine. But attitude--you are so right. As one who has been blessed--and I say that with a serious tone of honor--to have shared the journey with many champions on this journey, I concur that attitude is a powerful ally. You have it, Rodney...and when you don't, lean back on those of us around you who are invested in you through love, respect and relationship. "You funny guy!" But you are also have a deep and rich soul!
...also, I would love to borrow your untethered mind for about an hour or two...but I know it would get me into so much trouble it probably is not a good plan. I enjoy your flights of fantasy--we all need to disassemble or drill holes in our boxes.
Sure-- blame it on your chemobrain. What a great idea. Hey-- speaking of attitude. First, my husband and I really enjoyed your book. Second, there is a book called "Positivity" by Barbara Fredrickson with data to substantiate the stuff about attitude. There is a ratio. It is wild.
http://www.positivityratio.com/
You might enjoy it and you could even be part of the research. I will look forward to your view. Could be good material.
Be Well.
Sending positive vibes your way.
Keep laughing.
First, certain mammals have a bone in the phallus called a baculum. Sadly, humans do not but it poses the question, from whence came the term "boner"?
Second, here's one you can have, as you know I could never compete (although you probably already know this one):
A traveling salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse. It is opened by a teenage boy wearing false eyelashes, red lipstick, a feather boa, black dress and heels, smoking a cigarette and holding a martini. The salesman asks, "Are your parents home?" The boy replies, "What do you think?"
Rik, feel free to borrow my untethered mind. I promise not to blame you if we end up on some rooftop somewhere.
Teresa, I'm glad you guys enjoyed the book. And I like the idea of a positivity ratio. I think with all the nasty Right-Wing talk out on the airwaves we could use some positivity radio too.
And Paula, if I say anything but "thank you" I fear I'll tread too deeply into inappropriateness.
Boner donors? They're all around us. Take a walk down Main Street in Royal Oak some steamy summer evening, and you'll be getting boners all the time.
Hmmmm.... Is that TMI?
So, you probably don't want me to describe the morphological differences between a bat's and a lion's?
But ask me about the walrus someday.
"we're very sorry Mr Curtis but there were no matches on our boner donor list"