Zahia Hassen: "You realize you're a role model ..."

Ramadan is a challenge for parents. Imagine being Mom to five children and working as well. That’s what Zahia Hassen manages throughout the month of fasting. But she realizes, she says, that she’s a role model—so she tries to move through the month gracefully with her children. Along the way, she’s found some innovative ways to help them struggle with their cravings. Here’s her story:

As you get older in life, you become more aware of God and want to get closer to God. In the birth of my oldest son, Ahmad, I hemorrhaged and almost died during that birth so it was a time when I thought a lot about life and how wonderful life is. That was 1993. Then, as you become a parent, you realize you are a role model for the kids you bring into this life. This helps you to realize that you need to lead a better life yourself, because you have these children looking up to you.
    So, 15 years ago, I started doing more as a Muslim. Now, I’m the mother of five. I have five children at home and four of them fast. They’re ages 15 to 8 and my 8-year-old isn’t fasting yet, but the older four all fast. For them, first of all, it’s about learning willpower in Ramadan.
    So, I help them to deal with their cravings. Here’s what we do. When they get home from school, they can tell me their cravings. One might want pizza. One might really be craving a hamburger. One might tell me, “Oh, Mom, I saw them eating lasagna at school today and I’m craving lasagna.” Or another might tell me, “Mom, I smelled a peanut butter sandwich and, oh, I’m craving peanut butter.”
    So, what we do—and we do this only in Ramadan. I’m not some kind of Super Mom who could do this throughout the year. No. But, in Ramdan, I tell them, when the fast is over tonight, you can have what you’re craving. It’s true. I might be cooking—in one night—a piece of pizza, a hamburger, a piece of lasagna, a peanut butter sandwich. All in one night! But only in Ramadan. Only in this one special month. I’ve had my children tell me, “Mom, we’re craving Diary Queen!” And I tell them, “Well, when we’ve broken the fast, we’ll all pick up and go over to Dairy Queen.”
    What I’m really teaching them is to deal with their cravings. And you know what happens a lot of the time? One will tell me, “Mom, I’m craving barbecue potato chips.” So, we’ll go to the store, buy a bag and we’ll have them there. They’ll know the chips are there. But when we break the fast and have some dinner, they may tell me, “You know, Mom, those chips I thought I wanted? I don’t even want them now.”
Ramadan is a time when we learn about ourselves and we learn more willpower. But it’s much more than that. It’s a time when we thank God for all God gives us.
    I tell my kids this: You know how it is if I take you to the park and you go swimming and you have a wonderful time—and you’re so happy you’ll come and hug me and give me a kiss. Well, God gives us so much more than that in our lives. And yet God doesn’t hear from us so regularly like we might tell our parents we love them.
    Ramadan is a time when we control ourselves and we show our thankfulness to God.

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