Our Values

Aging in America: Do we feel younger as we get older?

The answer is: Yes. That's according to Pew’s new survey on aging in America. The older we get, the younger we feel.
    DrJay1941 would agree: “Having arrived at an ‘old’ 68, I suspect that the old saw about being as old as you feel is true. I don't feel 68.” Sixty-eight is the average of all the responses to Pew’s question about when old age starts, as I pointed out Monday.
    Gwynn Sterken put it well: “Old age is: 20 years older or more than you are currently. It's relative.”
    Ron Amen agrees: “In less than two weeks I will celebrate my 64th birthday anniversary. Do I consider myself old? Not really. Mentally I feel no different now than I did 30 or 40 years ago.” (Ron—you mentioned in your Comment that you’re thinking of using a hair darkener. My hair keeps graying for some strange and unknown reason, so I’m thinking of doing the same thing. Let me know if it works.)
    Both Ron Amen and Mona Amen offered touching and heartfelt comments about their own parents. Mona, for instance, talked about reciprocating the love and sacrifice her mother gave her.
    Phyllis Rector, too, noted the same. “My mom depends on us children for emotional support and love. She is 91 and needs us a lot for her daily activities.”
    Missy Buchanan, who writes regularly about aging, talked about a 95-year-old friend who asked her to post a "Do Not Resuscitate" order at her bedside. At first this saddened me, but then I realized that it represented something I noted earlier this week—aging is inevitable, but we always get to make choices.
    "Old 'R' Us," says David Crumm. America is aging.

    My thanks to all of our readers who shared their personal stories and reflections this week! AND, I still welcome your thoughts through the weekend. This has been a spirited discussion this week.
    How young do you feel today?
    Scroll down if you'd like to read our earlier thoughts, this week.

ADD A COMMENT, please! We welcome your thoughts. Or, if you prefer, drop us a quick Email.

Aging in America: Who cares for whom?

Do you help your aging parents? Do your parents give you money, take care of your kids, or run errands for you?
    Help runs both ways in American families, but it is often unequal and perceived differently, according to a new national poll on aging by the Pew Research Center.
    About half (51%) of older Americans (65+) with children say they have given them money in the past 12 months. Their children see it differently. Only 25% say they received money from their parents.
    Only 14% of older Americans with adult children say they received money from their children. Not quite right, say their kids—21% say they gave money to their older parents.
    One-third of older parents with adult children report helping with childcare, and about the same percentage say they help their children with errands, housework, or fixing things around the house.

    Who feels more dependent?
    This varies from family to family, of course, but only 12% of older parents (65+) say they generally depend on their children more than their children depend on them. About the same percentage of older parents say their children depend more on them.
    But almost three-quarters (71%) of older parents and their children agree that neither relies on the other—or they rely on each other equally.
    What’s your experience?
    If you are an “older parent,” do you give to or receive from your adult children?
    If you are an “adult child,” how about you – do you give, get, or both?

   

ADD A COMMENT, please! We welcome your thoughts. Or, if you prefer, drop us a quick Email.

Aging in America: What can we learn from the Red Hat Society?

How do we respond to aging?
    Here’s how over 1.5 million women aged 50 and older do it: They don red hats, mismatched with boas and purple outfits, and flaunt their devil-may-care attitude in restaurants, tea parties, conventions and just about anyplace else they care to be.
    It’s the Red Hat Society.
    "The Red Hat Society began as a result of a few women deciding to greet middle age with verve, humor and élan,” says founder and Exalted Queen Mother Sue Ellen Cooper. “We believe silliness is the comedy relief of life, and since we are all in it together, we might as well join red-gloved hands and go for the gusto together. Underneath the frivolity, we share a bond of affection, forged by common life experiences and a genuine enthusiasm for wherever life takes us next."
    The society traces its origin to a birthday gift Cooper, an artist in California, gave in 1998 to a friend turning 55: a red fedora and a Jenny Joseph poem. The poem begins: “When I am an old woman I shall wear purple / With a red hat that doesn’t go and doesn’t suit me.”
    According to the Red Hat Society’s web site, today the movement has over 1.5 million registered members, with more than 40,000 chapters in the United States and thirty other countries.
    What do members do, aside from wearing red and purple? “We do exactly what we wish to do,” they say. They network and nurture, celebrate life, have fun, and do it anyway they want to.
    The Red Hat Society is a metaphor: Aging is inevitable, but we can face it in a positive way. We can’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose our attitude about it.
    What do you think of the Red Hat Society?
    Are you a member? Know someone who is?
    What does this approach to aging mean to you?
    Want to learn more about the Red Hat Society? Visit the group's website. Not 50 yet? There’s room for you, but you’ll have to wear a Pink Hat until you turn the half-century mark.

    ADD A COMMENT, please! We welcome your thoughts. Or, if you prefer, drop us a quick Email.

Aging in America: Does getting older make you more religious?

Douglas MacArthur said, “You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.”
    Today on OurValues.org we’ll address MacArthur’s first topic: faith. I’m not sure the old warrior meant faith as in religious faith, but that’s the way we’ll look at it.
    Getting older strengthens religious beliefs and commitments in America, according to just-released findings from a new survey on aging by the Pew Research Center.
    Starting with the young, more Americans in every age group say they attend religious services on at least a weekly basis. For example, 48% of Americans 65 and up frequently go to church or religious services, compared with 34% of those under 30.
    Only 7% of Americans 65 and up said that they had no religious affiliation or were agnostic or atheist. That contrasts with 25% of Americans under 30 who report the same. Other surveys I’ve seen also report that today’s youth are more likely than youth in the past to say they have no religious affiliation.
    About a third of Americans 65 and older say their faith has become more important as they grow older. And, 43% of those 65+ who also suffered serious illness or depression said their faith deepened.
    What is your personal experience of age and religion?
    Has your faith strengthened as time goes by?
    Have you observed the same generational differences reported here?
    And, the all-important question: What do you think all this will mean for how Americans of different ages treat one another?

    ADD A COMMENT, please! We welcome your thoughts. Or, if you prefer, drop us a quick Email.

Aging in America: How old is old?

When does old age begin? Is it 65, 70, 75 or older? The answer is subjective, of course. It depends on a lot of factors—not the least of which is the age of the person answering the question!
    Here’s an answer: 68 years old is old.
    That’s the average of all the respondents to a new national poll on aging by the Pew Research Center. This week on Ourvalues.org we’ll examine some of the facts and perceptions about aging in America, drawing on just-released findings. An aging population is one of the key demographic trends in America, raising a host of ethical questions: intergenerational relations, elder care, social security, and healthcare—just to name a few.
    Almost all Americans (94%) who are 65 or older don’t agree with 68 as the onset of old age. But more than half of Americans under 30 say old age starts before 60.
    There are more disagreements between generations when we consider the markers of old age. Almost two-thirds (63%) of Americans under 30 say forgetting familiar names is a sign of old age; less than half of Americans over 50 agree. Similar gaps between generations are evident for markers such as retirement, sexual inactivity, having gray hair, or having grandchildren.
    Older and younger Americans agree about other markers of old age, such as declining health, not being able to drive a car or to live independently.
    How about you?
    When would you say old age starts?
    What issues around aging do you face or experience in your families?

    ADD A COMMENT, please! We welcome your thoughts. Or, if you prefer, drop us a quick Email.

Do Fourth of July celebrations ... make you feel American?

National celebrations can provide a sense of unity, a feeling of connection that crosses divides. This week on OurValues.org, we have been discussing what unites and what divides us as Americans.
    Independence Day is usually a symbolic expression of national unity. But celebrations will be quiet tomorrow in 375-year-old Ipswich, Massachusetts, a historic fishing village that played a key role in early American history. The traditional fireworks display at Castle Hill has been cancelled, a casualty of the economic times:
    “With the rising cost of the fireworks themselves, in addition to staff and contractual services, the Castle Hill Independence Day Fireworks event has lost money in recent years. In this economic downturn, [we] like so many other organizations and businesses we know, are taking measures to trim costs….” (Read the full press release here.)
    Among other notable events, it was in Ipswich that George Whitehead, a famous preacher in the 18th century revival known as the Great Awakening, is said to have preached with such intensity that the Devil leapt from the church and left his footprint in a nearby stone—an imprint you can still see today.

    How will you spend the 4th of July?
    Obama will be at Camp David, the presidential retreat in Maryland. I’m at our 26th annual family reunion, which, in a way, crosses some small divides: multiple generations, North/South, differences in political ideology.
    How about you?
    How do you plan to spend the nation’s birthday?
    However you spend it, does it give you a sense of belonging to a national community?

    ADD A COMMENT about this specific issue—or about values that unite or divide Americans in general. What other divisions do you see? What other signs of unity?

    Or, if you prefer, drop us a quick Email.

July 4 values: What unites? Divides? Does faith in capitalism unite us?

American capitalism is often called the envy of the world—even if its recent role in detonating the world’s economic system has tarnished its image (for the moment).
    Most Americans are fairly proud of our economic system. Some economists say capitalism and free markets are essential for democracy, even if we have a crisis every now and then.
    So, please, tell me what you think: Does faith in capitalism unite us?

    In his much-anticipated third encyclical “Caritas in Veritate” (Charity in Truth), Pope Benedict won’t mince words in his opposition to capitalism—especially American capitalism—which he sees as the cause of the current economic crisis, suffering in the third world, the growing gap between the rich and poor, and environmental degradation. Faith in the free market is a type of idolatry.
    “Conservatives will be shocked and disappointed by the encyclical,” writes Catholic author and scholar Father Reese, because it “will reflect Benedict’s skepticism toward unbridled capitalism based on greed.”
The Pope’s much-anticipated third encyclical has been two years in the making, but Benedict delayed it so he could include a critique and response to the global economic crisis.
    While Obama wants to reform American capitalism, Benedict's aim is far more reaching: He wants us to rethink the entire economic system, says Reece.

    What do you think of Benedict’s opposition to worldly economic systems, especially American capitalism?
    Do you have faith in American capitalism?
    Have you benefited from our competitive economic system, or have you been injured by it?
    How about those you see around you?

    If you care to read more, Father Reese has allowed us to repost his entire commentary on the upcoming encyclical—but, please, don't forget to leave a comment here!

What unites (or divides) Americans? How about Al Franken's victory?

Add one more Democrat to the U.S Senate: Stuart Smalley, a.k.a Al Franken.
    The Minnesota Supreme Court ruled yesterday that Democrat Al Franken is entitled to be certified as the winner of the closely contested Senate race. Franken’s opponent, Norm Coleman, conceded defeat. (Here’s the high court’s special release opinion, in case you have a taste for legalese.)
    The Coleman-Franken faceoff was just about as close as one can get to a perfectly divided election. Franken’s margin is a mere 312 votes of 2,424,946 votes cast in November. Given that they are poles apart on political ideology, it’s surprising that it wasn’t a landslide for one or the other.
    MSNBC compiled some statistics about the race. The two candidates raised $51.1 million for the campaign, spending almost all of it. Over $11 million was spent on the recount. Coleman has to pay Franken over $94,000 to cover court costs. Over seven months have passed since the November 2008 election.
    Franken was a writer and performer on Saturday Night Live, working with the show over the course of many years. He is best known for the character of Stuart Smalley, the self-help guru. Among other accomplishments, he wrote several best-selling books, including "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations."
    There are a lot of comedians on Capitol Hill. Now they’ll be joined by a professional.
    What do you think about this long drawn-out affair?
    How do you feel about adding another Democrat to the Senate?
    About Al Franken?

    So, please, ADD A COMMENT about this specific issue—or about values that unite or divide Americans in general. What other divisions do you see? What other signs of unity?

    Or, if you prefer, drop us a quick Email.

July 4 values: What unites? Divides? How about that court ruling?

Happy Birthday, OurValues! Today is the 1st anniversary of OurValues.org! Our discussion of values and ethics in America began on June 30, 2008, and has roamed far and wide across America’s moral terrain. Thank you for being an important part of it!
TODAY, chime in on our July 4-themed conversation.
    Yesterday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of white firefighters in New Haven, Connecticut, concluding that they were victims of racial discrimination. This was a high visibility decision because it reversed a decision endorsed by Sonia Sotomayor, Obama’s nominee to be the next justice of the nation’s highest court.
    For me, the interesting aspect of this decision is not that it reversed Sotomayor’s decision as an appeals court judge. No doubt her detractors will use the high court’s decision as more ammunition against her. But the interesting aspect is that the decision was entirely along “party” lines.
    The particulars: White and minority firefighters in New Haven took an exam for promotion to lieutenant or captain. No African Americans and only a few Latinos were likely to be promoted based on the exam results, so New Haven threw out the test results for everyone.
    What do I mean by party lines? The decision was a close one, 5 to 4. The five justices were Thomas, Scalia, Roberts, Alito and Kennedy. These five are among the 10 most conservative justices since 1937, according to an analysis of court rulings. (Thomas is the most conservative of all 43 justices since 1937.)
    The minority opinion was endorsed by Souter, Breyer, Stevens, and Ginsburg—among the most liberal justices, according to the same analysis.
    This decision, then, is emblematic of the divide I talked about yesterday: “originalists” (those who believe the meaning of the Constitution does not change over time) versus proponents of the “living Constitution” (those who believe the Constitution should be interpreted in the context of the times).
    What do you make of the high court’s decision?

    So, please, ADD A COMMENT about this specific issue—or about values that unite or divide Americans in general. What other divisions do you see? What other signs of unity?

    Or, if you prefer, drop us a quick Email.

July 4 values: What unites? Divides? Let's start with the Supreme Court

What unites us—or divides us—as Independence Day approaches? That's the big question this week.

TODAY, ReadTheSpirit explores a similar theme—searching for glimpses of American "spirit." The 2 big photos on our page today were taken by college students on an assignment to capture images emblematic of America. Why are these 2 snapshots appropriate? I'd like to hear your thoughts on that—please, add a comment on what Americans have in common as a national community and what separates us.

HERE AT OURVALUES.ORG, let's start with a red-hot political issue: Consider the upcoming confirmation vote on Sonia Sotomayor as the next Supreme Court Justice. Most Americans support her confirmation, according to a number of polls. If confirmed, she will become the 111th Justice and the first Hispanic.
    But the deep debate about her appointment isn’t about her ethnicity, or gender, or humble roots. It’s about a split in how the Constitution should be applied. The two sides of the debate are called “originalism” versus “living Constitution.”
    The first says that the meaning of the Constitution doesn’t change over time. The second says that the Constitution should be interpreted in light of present-day conditions. As Thomas Jefferson wrote, “I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.”
    Sotomayor isn’t an originalist. Critics see her as a judicial activist—someone (as Obama does) who takes into account evolving norms, understandings, values and ethics. Supporters say those are the reasons for confirming her.
    I have no doubt that Sotomayor will be confirmed in July. I support her confirmation. But it’s important to remember the deep divide in an ongoing debate in which she is only the most recent focus.

    So, please, ADD A COMMENT about this specific issue—or about values that unite or divide Americans in general. What other divisions do you see? What other signs of unity?

    Or, if you prefer, drop us a quick Email.