Table of Contents

  • Preface
  • Everything In This Book Happened
  • Father Figuratively
  • Alex’s Ashes
  • Antidisestablishment Presbyterianism
  • Joe Cushing
  • Deepu and the Cappuccino Blast
  • Yoga Bear
  • Dog Duty
  • Colorblind
  • The Connection Collection
  • Occam’s Socket Wrench
  • The Tigers Through the Ages
  • Nur-shree School
  • Bug Juice
  • Gun Control
  • My Easter Bat
  • Station Wagon
  • Weakness
  • Devils Night or Devil’s Night
  • Pleasant Ridge
  • My First Real Girlfriend
  • How to Cry
  • Kissing Jenny Yardley
  • Basement Parties
  • Life Themes
  • A Carnival Inside My Head
  • Que Sera
  • Que Lastima
  • Biagi and the Stupido Americano
  • Artful Dodger
  • Marci’s Uterus
  • Inconvenience Store
  • Two-thirty A.M.
  • Snoop and Bubba
  • Txt Msg
  • Last Will and Testicles
  • Back in the USSR
  • I See Church
  • She Can’t Help You
  • Jesus Is Just All Right With Me
  • Missy
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